


It’s no better to be safe than sorry

by Loulouche, TiamatZX



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-episode fic, Spoilers for C2E123, TW: Lucien, TW: THAT fight in that episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29185131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loulouche/pseuds/Loulouche, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiamatZX/pseuds/TiamatZX
Summary: Summary:“Maybe it will just leave me more heartbroken, but… I don't care. It's no better to be safe than sorry. Not when we’ve waited long enough, when we could have had more time."-----Takes place right after “Fair-weather Faith”. Fic title is from Take on Me, by a-ha, because we love Ashley Johnson and, in Luce's opinion, the song has been sapphic ever since The Last of Us Part 2, so… yeah.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha Nydoorin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 84





	It’s no better to be safe than sorry

**Author's Note:**

> ADAM  
> Welp. Another post-episode fic taking place after just another stress-free and relaxing…
> 
> Fuck it. I can’t finish that thought with a straight face. Besides, it’s impossible anyway. I’m ace/aro XD
> 
> LUCE  
> It started as an angst fic, then drifted to fluff, then circled back to angst and then to fluff again. I don’t know what it is at this point, except that it is longer than I expected. But yeah, I guess you can tell how “stress-free” this episode was by the fact that we needed to write TWO fics to cope.
> 
> ADAM  
> You know what it is, Luce? It’s a perfect sapphic storm.
> 
> LUCE  
> I love this. ‘A perfect sapphic storm’ should be the subtitle of this fic.
> 
> ADAM  
> Or just what defines them right now. But yeah… A lot of feelings here. So… brace yourselves.

With their combined skills and despite the snowfall, the Mighty Nein manages to find their way back to the tower that Caleb hadn’t dispelled on purpose. The two clerics used their last spells to heal the party as best as they could, but they still need rest. The adrenaline has dropped and now exhaustion is weighing on all of them, even Caleb and Veth. They agree on going to sleep in Yasha’s room like they did the night before, so that they can keep watch over Beau and Caleb, just in case. Anything else of concern, they’ll discuss it in the morning.

The night is anything but restful, though. And for some, for more reasons than the obvious.

They’ve been in Yasha’s room for just a couple minutes, and while everybody is preparing to go to bed, Beau hasn’t stopped moving even just for a second. Even though she’s clearly moving at a much slower pace so as to not aggravate her lingering injuries, she’s still going through her journal like a madwoman, reading old notes, looking at the sketches she drew the night before, going to the terrarium to pick a few insects but returning with none, sitting and then changing her mind and standing. All this without end, all while rubbing the back of her left hand.

Caleb is the one who finally dares say something. “Beauregard, can you please sit, or lay, or just stop moving? You’re making me dizzy.”

She stops and looks at him, her cleaned face still gaunt and weary as if there wasn’t blood literally dripping from every opening not too long ago. Her leg is jumping nervously. “I’m trying.”

“We are all over the place. All of us. We need to sleep.” Although it would just get himself punched, he tries for a morbid joke. “Your brain needs to heal, too.”

Beau crosses her arms on her chest and bites the interior of her cheeks as she looks in the distance. With no warning, she suddenly snaps out of her quiet contemplation and glances at Caleb. “I need to be alone.”

Jester panics a bit as she walks to the door. “Wh-Where are you going?”

“To my room.” She opens the door.

“Don’t fall asleep over there, we’re supposed to watch over you!” Fjord calls out as she leaves, but she doesn’t answer.

Jester jumps off the bed and goes after Beau. “No! You have to stay with us, Beau, we are supposed to--”

Beau turns and glares at Jester, stopping the cleric in her tracks. Even with her face recently cleaned… there is still blood coating her sharp blue eyes that are glistening with tears.

“I’m. Sleeping. Alone.”

“Beau--”

“ **_Fuck off!_ **” she yells as she slams the door in her face.

Yasha has watched silently, never interfering. She closes her eyes and sighs through her nose as she grits her teeth.

Fjord is in shock. He stares at the door with a confused expression that quickly turns into annoyance bordering anger. “Is she serious?” He goes for the door, intent on chasing after her, “Beau, come b--” but Jester stops him before he can even leave the room.

“She’ll be fine. That… That’s not what she’s feeling.”

“She has no right to talk to you like that! To any of us!”

Caduceus walks up to Fjord and puts a hand on his shoulder. “I agree, Fjord. But I also agree with Jester. Beau…” he briefly pauses as he looks for the right words. “Beau is trying to deal with everything that's going on as best as she can. I’m sure she will realize she shouldn’t have unloaded her anger and frustration on Jester and she will apologize.”

Fjord still looks upset, but he lets it go and doesn’t retort. Yasha is still watching from the chair she’s been sitting on. Jester turns to her and gives her a small smile. Yasha knows she’s trying to keep her usual mask on, but she’s learned to see beyond that long ago.

“Yasha, would you be okay to play your harp? Maybe a lullaby or something to help us all go to sleep, you know.”

“Of course.” Yasha grabs her satchel resting at her feet and puts it on her lap. She rummages through it until she pulls out her harp and then puts the bag back on the ground. “I’ll take the first watch.”

Everybody settles down for the night, climbing onto the bed or finding another comfortable spot in the bedroom. Yasha intertwines her fingers and extends her arms in front of her to crack them, then tilts her head to each side to crack her neck. She moves her shoulders a little and when she feels ready - as much as she can be, considering the bundle of nerves she is right now - she starts playing.

She stumbles upon the first notes and needs to take a moment to breathe in and out deeply. She tries again, but the harp stutters, seemingly opposed to producing any right note. There is something wrong, but does it come from her or from the instrument? Yahsa doesn’t know if she is actually playing out of tune or if the sounds she hears are distorted by her brain.

She risks a look at her friends. Caleb’s gaze is lost in oblivion as he rolls a black pearl between his thumb and his forefinger. The others all have their eyes closed, except Jester who is laying on the bed but looking at her with a warm smile. If Yasha is playing out of tune, the tiefling doesn’t seem to mind, or maybe she’s just really good at pretending.

She tries again, but she definitely can’t play. Every time she tries to focus, when she plucks she instead hears that piercing, harrowing scream that rattles in her head like a sine wave. Beau’s cry resonates in her ears, as real as if it was echoing out loud right now. She closes her eyes to try to shake it off, but it only makes things worse. She sees the blood pouring from Beau’s eyes, her ears, her nose, her mouth. And she hears her scream again. Her horrible scream. Yasha can never forget the image of Beau limp and bloodied in Lucien’s grip, the image of what her stupid heart interpreted for just a second as her best friend about to kill her second love. Her head knew what this truly was. Her heart? Not so much.

“Yasha?”

Her eyes fling open. Jester is still looking at her, but she is no longer smiling.

“You should go see her. There should be someone to watch over her for the night, and…” She briefly pauses. “You should talk to her.”

Caleb looks at Yasha and the others open their eyes one by one. No one says anything, not even Veth. She has probably figured it all out by now with what she heard today during the fight against Gelidon.

Yasha turns to Caduceus. He gives her a kind smile and nods, and suddenly she remembers his words from their talk in Rexxentrum.

**_“You know what the most common thing that someone says at a funeral is? … I thought I had more time.”_ **

Now more than ever, these words resonate with Yasha.

**_“I would recommend don't think that you have more time necessarily than you might have. Patience is fine, but it can curdle into apathy.”_ **

But she did. Despite Caduceus’ advice, she acted like she had more time. And tonight, she could have lost Beau for good. She is so stupid.

With no warning, she leaps off her chair and startles some of her friends. She puts her harp on the chair and rushes out of the door without a word. When she closes the door, she catches from the corner of her eye a kind smile on Jester’s face.

Yasha is walking so fast that she is almost running. She levitates up to the sixth floor and strides to Beau’s room. A few quick knocks on the door and she waits. After a while, she knocks again, but she doesn’t receive any answer. Maybe Beau is sleeping, although this would be very surprising. She leans forward and puts her ear against the door to listen. She hears muffled sounds coming from inside. After a brief hesitation, she cracks the door open. Beau is nowhere to be seen.

Yasha enters and quietly closes the door behind her. She follows the sounds she hears and walks to the training room. Her euphoria and nervousness quickly die down, replaced by irritation, if not anger.

Beau is wearing only her breast band and a pair of leggings. She took off her gloves but kept her wraps. She is hitting a dummy with such focus that she doesn’t even notice Yasha standing at the threshold.

Yasha clenches her jaw. “What are you doing?”

Beau immediately stops and turns to her. Surprise flashes across her face, but it’s quickly gone. She wipes sweat off her face with the back of her hand. “Blowing off some steam.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” Yasha mutters under her breath. She walks up to Beau. “You should take a bath and go to bed.”

“I was about to.”

“Were you?”

“Yeah. Just a few more minutes, I need to relax.”

Beau turns back to the dummy she was beating and puts her hands up, but Yasha grabs her arm. “No.” Her voice is firm, but still calm at this point. “You need to recover from your injuries.”

Beau briskly shrugs off Yasha’s hand without even looking at her and lands a punch. “Caduceus took care of my wounds, I’m fine.”

“Beau. You merely escaped death.”

“I’ve been much closer to dying than that before.” She hits the dummy.

“Can you please stop and look at me? I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll be with you in a minute, just let me finish this sequence.”

“Now.”

“Chill, Yash. We have all the time to talk, we--”

“ **_We don’t!_ **”

Yasha’s unexpected yell freezes Beau mid-punch. At least she stopped. She turns to Yasha with a puzzled expression. “What the--”

“We don’t know if we will have more time, Beau! You could have died tonight! Even this morning! What are you trying to prove?!”

"What are you talking about? I did what I always do in combat."

"No! You were reckless!"

Beau's tone has been relatively calm so far, but she suddenly raises her own voice to match Yasha's. "Stop yelling!"

"Stop pretending everything is okay then!"

“What else am I supposed to do?! Fall apart and cry? This is not what I do, and you know that.”

Yasha suddenly steps much closer to Beau and towers over her. “You’re supposed to _stay alive_.” Her tone is calm again, but her face is tense. “We promised not to die.” Her voice cracks a little. “But you keep putting yourself in danger recklessly.”

Beau looks into Yasha’s eyes, almost challenging her. “I’m useless if I’m not on the frontline.”

“You’re useless if you’re _dead_.” Beau looks away and purses her lips. Yasha’s gaze doesn’t waver. “If something happened to me, I know you would keep going. But for me it’s different, Beau.”

The monk gulps and remains silent, her gaze still averted.

“I lost my wife and my best friend. I barely got back up from it. You guys are all I have left. You…” Her voice is trembling. “ _You_ are my last chance at a happy life. I know you didn’t ask for this and it’s not fair to put this responsibility on your shoulders, but it is what it is.”

Beau is still not talking. Yasha hesitantly reaches out with one hand, but Beau recoils and her arm falls to her side. “I… I won't be able to stand it if you die on me… If you leave me behind… You dying for me would not be romantic. It would just leave me broken and alone."

“I’m not trying to do that to you. I just...”

Beau struggles to even just look at Yasha and when she finally does, her breathing gets caught in her throat. Yasha is quietly crying. No sob, just tears silently running down her cheeks. Whether she hasn’t noticed or she doesn’t care, she does nothing to wipe them away. Beau tries to imagine what it would look like if those tears were replaced by blood, and it’s terrifying. She shivers uncontrollably.

“I’m not trying to do that to you,” Beau repeats. “I’m just so angry. And confused. And… scared.” Yasha can tell how hard it is for her to admit it. “This whole situation is a mess. It’s like we said. When I look at him, when he talks, I can tell that there’s a bit of Molly in him. But then I remember that whatever he’s trying to do, the world will probably be at risk if he succeeds. And Jester wants to try to bring Molly back so badly, and I do too, but I don’t want to get my hopes up and believe this is possible.”

Beau pauses in her ranting and tries to slow down her breathing. “It’s such a fucking mess,” she says under her breath. "I'm scared, so very scared. Up until recently, I wasn't sure how scared I could be and then in just one single night, it all changed. I pride myself on being able to stay strong and being my own person and not feeling like I'm owned by something or someone. And then…”

She nervously pushes a few strands of hair out of her face. “Literally overnight it all came crashing down on me. Because of _this_." She shows the clenched fist of her left hand, still wrapped but Yasha can tell she's referring to the brand underneath. "I'm terrified that I saw Molly die right in front of me and just now I almost died in front of Lucien. But that's not what terrifies me the most. Lucien and by proxy Mollymauk and Vess DeRogna. What do they have in common?”

Yasha tilts her head, genuinely uncertain. “Um… they’re arrogant and condescending?”

Beau exhales a deep sigh full of exasperation. “Cute, but… no. They had eyes and then they _died_ , and then a thought kept creeping into my head that I desperately wanted to ignore but I couldn't, not after this morning. What if the eyes mean that we’re marked for death? And what's worse is that if it was just me I'd be okay with that but I ended up dragging Caleb into this as well because of our fucking curiosity!”

She sighs to try and release a bit of the tension that’s been building in her body. But she’s finding it hard to not also have to focus on how fucking sore she’s been from what she went through all day. But this excess negative energy has to go somewhere, and if there’s one thing that Beauregard Lionett is frighteningly good at… it’s unhealthy coping mechanisms.

She exhales again and looks at Yasha. “I'm terrified that now more than ever I'm on borrowed time and I'm desperate to want to fix this so bad and yet I don't know if we can. I know I wanted a fresh start with you, Yasha. And I still do. I really, really do! I just don't know if we ever will now that I've thought about this fucking deal. And you're right, we don't have time but I don't know what else to do about it. And I just had to face the fact that there is nothing left of Molly in him now after what happened. I've never been this scared in my life, I don't know what to do about it and I'm sorry that I'm putting you through this too."

Yasha stares at her in silence. The tears have stopped dripping, but her face is still soaked and her eyes are red.

“I don’t know what the fuck to do about this… but… I know I can’t stop. And… I’m scared to sleep.” Her fist is clenched even tighter as if to emphasize the eye underneath, as her other hand clasps it. “What if it’s not the book? What if I’m going to end up dreaming anyway? What if… What if I’m already damned, that Caleb is already damned, and it’s utterly futile to try to change it? And I know what you’re going to say, this is not like me, but I feel like I stopped being ‘me’ the instant this happened. I don’t want to sleep, not if it means I lose more of myself and eventually my free will.”

“I wish--” Yasha’s voice is hoarse and she has to clear her throat. “I wish I could tell you it’s gonna be okay.” She tries to reach for Beau again, but the monk almost violently backs away to maintain her distance.

_Why? Why won’t you let me near, Beau? Why?_

“I don’t want to hurt you, Yasha. I’ve done that too much already… but… I...”

Yasha dares to take another step closer. Beau steps away again. “I don’t want to cage you, Beau. I just need to be sure you will be careful.”

“This was a bad idea,” Beau whispers to herself. “I shouldn’t have asked you out, not if it was going to lead up to this. I… I should’ve been more honest about it, but I was so caught up in wanting to start over that… I’m putting you through so much hell yet again. So much for ‘wanting to do it the right way’. Pretty fucking naive of me to think I can be better than that.”

Yasha’s face cracks, revealing her worry. “Wh-What are you saying? You don’t want this anymore?”

Beau shakes her head, averting her gaze, still stepping away until her back hits another dummy. “N-No… I… That’s not it. I just...”

“Just…?”

Beau’s head hangs down limply, her body sagging against the dummy as she slides to the ground. And then she’s crying.

“...I thought I had more time...”

Yasha freezes. She tries to keep a steady breath as she crouches and reaches out once more. Beau’s hands are strongly clasped together, but this time, she lets Yasha take them. And almost immediately, the tears just erupt once more from Yasha’s face. “Don’t give up now. It’s not over.”

Beau doesn’t respond. Her eyes are still averted.

“Beau. Please. Look at me. See me, as I see you. Please.”

Yasha doesn’t think she’s ever seen Beau so distraught, except the day they went to Isharnai. Her shoulders are slouched and although Yasha is holding her hands, she keeps them close to her own body. It makes her look even smaller.

“Beauregard.”

She feels her hands tense, but eventually, Beau looks up. Her lips are quivering, and Yasha senses that it’s not from the cold. There’s a look in her eyes, a look that contrasts how they appeared just minutes ago. It’s not quite the same as the look in her eyes when she had to face her father, or even Isharnai. In fact, it’s a look she’s only seen once before.

And the first thing that comes to mind is… _her_ eyes. On that one fateful day in Xhorhas, when she was too naive to think that fate wouldn’t dare crush her hopes. _Their_ hopes.

_Zuala._

“I don’t know what will happen, I don’t know if those eyes will keep branding you, I don’t know if there’s anything I can do. And if something does happen, it won’t change anything because I took that leap regardless. And maybe it will just leave me more heartbroken, but… I don't care. It's no better to be safe than sorry. Not when we’ve waited long enough, when we could have had more time.”

Beau doesn’t look away, but her expression remains unchanged.

“Also…” Yasha forces herself to continue. “Something had just occurred to me. What use is there in ‘waiting for the right moment’ if it never comes? Sometimes, ‘the right way’ doesn’t exist. Or it doesn’t matter in the end. If it _feels_ right, then it does become ‘the right way’. I know it’s not what you want, that you want a fresh start. But… why can’t it be right now?”

Beau slowly opens her mouth and her chin quivers a little. “But what if I die or I am lost to this thing? What if… I just put you through that all over again? I don’t want your last chance at a happy life to look like this. I… I’m scared to hurt you like that.”

Yasha purses her lips and she averts her own gaze, trying to think of something to convince Beau otherwise. She can’t. She sounds so… defeated, so… resigned. She sounds so…

“B-But...”

She looks back into the eyes of the woman who took her completely by surprise.

“If I… If I’m going to die out here… and you… won’t leave… again… then… I...” 

Suddenly, taking her by surprise again, Beau gets on her knees and closes the distance between them, her hands still being held, still staring into Yasha’s eyes. Beau looks so scared. So very scared. And all Yasha wishes for is that she could take the fear away.

But maybe she can. Even though her own fear is clawing at her throat, she pushes it away, closing her eyes. She’s going to do this.

For her.

“If you’re damned and there’s nothing we can do about it, you need to hear me out. I… I didn’t tell you the whole truth the other day. I don’t simply like you, I--”

The remaining words Yasha was going to say, they are cut off with a sudden hand clasping the back of her neck. She opens her eyes again, and notices Beau somehow even closer than before, her left hand still holding onto Yasha’s but their fingers are intertwined and they are pressed against her heart. She mutters something under her breath.

“What is it, Beau?”

Beau’s tear-stained eyes don’t leave Yasha’s gaze. If anything, she’s finding herself drawn into them more and more ever so slowly. Or… maybe it’s more literal. Is… is she…?

“I love you.”

And in one fluid moment, like the sharp sound of a thunderclap, the distance closes entirely.

Beau pushes Yasha and she has to use one hand to keep them from falling backwards as she finds herself unexpectedly sitting… and Beauregard in her lap. The kiss is a bit rushed at first, and she feels Beau’s erratic breathing on her face. But then she seems to calm down a little. She is holding onto Yasha like she will drift away if she lets go. But it makes Yasha feel like somehow, she is helping to keep Beau grounded, and it feels nice.

As contradictory as it seems, kissing Beau makes her feel like she’s finally able to breathe again after holding her breath for days, or like she’s been drowning in the vast deep ocean and is only now coming up for air. Yasha takes a deep breath through her nose, like Beau is her oxygen, and then exhales slowly.

Her body presses against Beau’s on its own accord, leaning forward and pushing her against the dummy, and a groan escapes Beau, smothered by Yasha’s mouth. It would be electrifying in other circumstances, but it sounds way too much like a cry of pain. Yasha is instantly reminded of the scream she heard a few hours ago as she immediately pulls away. 

“I’m sorry.”

She tries to put some distance between them, but Beau’s grip tightens on her nape and she keeps her close. “I’m okay. Just a bit sore, but I’m fine.”

Yasha nods, unable to say or do anything. Beau looks at her, her eyes going back and forth between the turquoise and the violet. Her hand gently slips from the back of Yasha’s neck to her cheek and she cups her face. And for the first time in a long while… a smile finally returns to Beau's face. “I feel like a teenager all over again. Thankfully this time I don’t have that awkward first boyfriend in my life.”

Yasha can’t help but giggle at that and puts her free hand on Beau’s waist to pull her away from the dummy and closer to her. As if on instinct, Beau’s legs wrap around Yasha’s waist. She has to bow her head a little to keep looking her in the eye.

"Can I hold you, Beau?"

“You _are_ holding me,” she answers with a small grin. "B-But… I… Just for once, Yasha… let _me_ hold _you_." She goes quiet, and then pulls Yasha as close as she can and holds her tight, her legs tightening their hold on her.

There is no escape. Not like Yasha would want to anyway. But she is a bit taken aback and briefly freezes before relaxing in Beau’s embrace. Her hand goes to her back and rests there as she rubs it with her thumb. She can feel Beau’s heart beating steadily under her other hand. It’s comforting. She can hear Beau sniffling and quietly sobbing, but it is not the sound of a remorseful sobbing.

"If it does turn out to be the end of the road for me...at least I won't be walking it alone. At least...I can make the most of what time we have, and be happy."

“I won’t let that happen. We will destroy this city, they won’t have you or Caleb.”

The tone of her voice leaves no room for argument. She sounds so sure of what she’s saying that Beau wants to believe her. But she can’t bring herself to believe it’s true.

Although it is pointless to retort… she can't help it. She curls up against Yasha. "Convince me. Convince me that we will get through this, without an ounce of doubt in you. Convince me… and not yourself."

Yasha gently breaks free from Beau’s grip. She puts her hands on each side of her face and brings it up to look her in the eye. “You’re going to find something. You and Caleb are the smartest people I’ve ever met. Essek is here somewhere, and even if I know you don’t like the idea of giving him that kind of information, I’m sure he will help if we ask him to.”

Beau shakes her head. "I'm… asking you to convince _me_. Can you really say, with absolute confidence, that we will be okay? You don't need to lie to me. Or yourself."

“I…” Her hands stiffen a little.

Beau caresses Yasha’s face with a calloused hand that yet feels so soft. "It's okay to doubt, Yasha. If you believed in every little thing, you would just end up blind to the truth. Because what is belief without doubt? A lie."

She says these things, yet she's still smiling. But compared to before, it is not the smile of someone full of resignation. Yasha remains silent for a moment. She lets what Beau just said sink in.

"Having doubts isn't a bad thing. It means you can find a reason to believe, upon overcoming them."

“I don’t know if we will be able to stop the Tombtakers or to find a solution to save you. All I know is that we have to try even if… it's hopeless."

Beau lifts a hand and brushes an errand strand of hair from Yasha's face. "That right there, Yasha? That is convincing."

"What?"

“You want to keep trying, even if all that awaits is the end. It’s not for certain, but you’re bracing yourself for the worst. And as I said, it’s not a bad thing. It just means you’re ready to face it. And I...” The smile widens. “I’m glad I’m able to convince you of that.”

Yasha smashes the last bits of hesitation that remained. “I love you, Beauregard Lionett, and I’m not about to let you go down without a fight.”

“Good. I expect nothing less from you, Yasha Nydoorin. My angel-blood.”

Yasha can’t help but let out a soft laugh. “Since when did you get all sappy and cheesy? And… I came to comfort you and yet… _I’m_ the one being comforted? How did that happen?”

Beau chuckles softly, stroking Yasha’s left arm where her gem tattoo resides all over. “I realized that I should stop holding back. Also… you needed convincing more than I do.”

Her smile drops a little. “I should apologize to Jester. I was… I was angry.”

“Yes, you should. But don’t worry, I don’t think she will be mad. She said herself that she knew this wasn’t you. She even kept Fjord from going after you.”

Beau scoffs. “Of course she did.” She gets a little more serious. “Hey, by the way. Thank you for saving me. Again. I guess it makes up for throwing your sword at me. Again.”

Yasha instantly blushes and with a skin as pale as hers, there’s nothing she can do to hide it. “Sorry. I should stop doing this and just give up. I can’t be as cool as you.”

“You already are. I mean, I have a guardian angel, ready to swoop in and pull me out of a jam if I’m in too deep. How does that _not_ make you as cool as me?”

Yasha smiles coyly and blushes even more. Beau then clings even tighter to Yasha… and it’s only now that Yasha notices the shivering. “Speaking of cool… I think I could use that hot bath right now.”

Yasha sighs. “You’re such an idiot.“

“I know. But I’m _your_ idiot.“

“You are.”

Yasha bends down and waits to give Beau the opportunity to pull back, but instead the monk closes the distance and kisses her. Yasha lets out the tiniest of sigh and she feels Beau smile against her lips.

They part after a moment, but their faces are still close when Yasha whispers, “I can get a bath ready for you, if you want to.”

“For _us_ ,” Beau corrects.

Yasha blinks. “Y-You want… me… you... I mean--”

“I… kinda asked Caleb on the sly to make the tub bigger. Just in case.”

“Yeah. Just in case,” Yasha stutters with the most puzzled face.

Her mouth stays slightly open and Beau gently pushes her chin up with a grin. “Careful. I know you like bugs, but I wouldn’t want you to swallow a fly or something.” She traces the line of her tattoo. “So? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“I do,” Yasha says hastily, and it only makes Beau grin wider.

“Come on, then.”

Beau locks her feet and Yasha grabs her legs and rises with no issue, not even losing her balance. She takes her out of the training room and to the bathroom, where Beau unwraps her legs and gets on her feet. Things become a bit awkward once they’re standing next to the bathtub.

“We’ve both seen each other naked before,” Beau says with an unaffected expression to try to release the tension. And still, she doesn’t make a move to undress herself.

Yasha gently takes her right hand. “Is it okay if I take your wraps off?”

Beau nods quietly and Yasha gets to work. With great care, like she could break a bone if she had any sudden move, she unties the wraps and starts unfolding them. “You were right, they smell awful,” she says without looking up and with a deadpan expression.

Beau chuckles and playfully punches her in the shoulder with her free hand, which only makes Yasha smile. She finishes unwrapping her right hand and then stops. She looks at Beau. “Can I do the left one too?”

Beau pauses for a moment, bending the wrist a little. “Yeah.”

With even more gentleness than before, Yasha slowly gets rid of the wraps. She is careful to keep Beau’s palm up to keep the brand out of view when she finishes, but she feels Beau tense anyway. She lets the wraps fall to the ground and uses her two hands to completely envelop Beau’s tiny one. She brings it to her mouth and gently kisses her palm.

When Yasha tries to completely cover her hand again, Beau gently breaks free. She takes a deep breath and bends and unbends her fingers a few times before flipping her hand. She looks at the red eye and clenches her fist.

“Beau?”

“I’m okay, Yasha. Just… dealing with it right now.” She then turns to Yasha. “So… aren’t you going to keep at it?”

With a bit of trepidation, Yasha takes off Beau’s breast band. She averts her gaze from her now bare chest, but doesn’t make eye contact either.

Beau tilts her head to the side. “What’s wrong? Is it because I’m naked?”

“It’s a bit intimidating, yes. But…”

“I thought you had a lot of experience with titties. Isn’t it what you said?”

Yasha chuckles a bit and then goes back to a stern face. She looks Beau in the eye, even if it seems a bit hard for her. “It’s just…”

“It’s the scar, isn’t it?”

Yasha purses her lips and nods. “I… haven’t really seen it. Like, fully.”

“It’s the same as how Molly died. I’m sure you could tell… if you saw Lucien.”

“But I don’t care about Lucien.”

“I know. You’re still hung up about that day. I told you, Yasha. I knew that wasn’t you.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad about it.”

“Do you think you can look at it though? Just try? Please. It’s not very pretty, but I promise it’s okay. It’s just a scar. Do you think you can do that?”

Yasha swallows hard but nods. She takes a deep breath and slowly lowers her eyes until she is looking at the scar. Beau is right. It’s not very pretty. It looks like one of those massive crevasses they come upon sometimes when they’re travelling through the tundra during the day.

And as if that were not enough, without the thick layers to cover her, Yasha also notices the remnants of scarring and bruising from their fight with the dragon, and then the wounds she’d suffered tonight from Zoren’s maul… and Lucien’s grip.

“My gods...” Yasha mutters to herself. “How can you take so much, yet keep on standing?”

“I remember times where you took just as much, if not more. That’s what survivors do, yeah?” Beau responds, her voice quivering but not by much.

“Does… Does it hurt?” She knows it’s a stupid question. Scars are not painful once they’re healed. But for some reason, she feels the need to ask, and Beau doesn’t seem to judge her for that.

“No. If anything, it’s a little less sensitive than the rest of my skin. But it doesn’t hurt. Not a bit.” Beau winces a bit, and Yasha thinks it’s not due to that particular scar. “Well… not compared to...”

She falters a bit and Yasha immediately grabs her arm and supports her as she slumps on the edge of the bathtub. Beau squeezes her knee. “That fucker really got a good hit on me. It’s a good thing you flew me away, I don’t think I would have been able to walk after that.”

“Come on. I’ll help you with your pants.”

Beau grins. “Of course you will.”

Yasha gives her an amused look. She crouches down and lets her hold on to her for support as she pulls her leggings and underwear down her legs. She hears a choked whimper when she gets to the knees and feels Beau’s grip tighten on her shoulders. She glances up and sees her face tense with pain. “You okay?”

Beau doesn’t answer, only nods as she keeps her teeth gritted. Yasha finishes taking off her leggings and then stands up. “Do you want me to help you get in the bath?”

“I think I should manage that part,” Beau says with a grin, the pain slowly fading away from her face. “Will you, um...” she fidgets with her braid.

“Yeah, I’ll take care of it.”

Yasha is about to take Beau into her arms, but the monk pouts as she manages to lift herself into the tub, the warm water a very welcome balm from the hoarfrost horrors outside the tower. She raises her hand to Yasha in a beckoning motion. “Come bathe with me.”

“Oh. So… You really want me to?”

“You think I was joking?”

“Just… I wasn’t sure if you were serious about this.”

“I am, so come on.”

Yasha awkwardly undresses. It takes some time with all the straps there are to undo. At some point, Beau loses her patience. She stands up in the tub, grabs Yasha’s wrist to pull her closer, and helps her as she is practically clawing at the straps.

The aasimar is taken aback and is blushing furiously. “Oh. Um. Okay.”

When they’re finally done with the fucking straps, Beau helps Yasha out of the heavy leathers and Yasha takes off her boots and her inner layers herself. Beau sits back in the tub and leaves some room behind her. Yasha carefully steps in the tub and settles down behind Beau.

“You’re lucky that you’re so hot in those, because they are such a pain in the ass to take off,” Beau says in a teasing voice.

Yasha grins and quietly starts undoing Beau’s braid. She has her legs on each side of the small woman and while she is taking care of her hair, Beau gently strokes her thigh. When she gets to the knot, she completely frees her hair.

“Can you undo the small one too, please?”

Yasha unties the small braid that runs along the side of Beau’s head from her forehead. She runs her fingers through her hair, Beau humming contently as it is slowly untangled. “So long.”

“Well, it’s been under a year.” She scratches the sides of her head that are just below the hairline reserved for her circlet. “Reminds me that I need to touch it up a bit later.”

“I never asked, but… Do you do it yourself?”

“Nah. I used to, but now Fjord helps me with that.”

“Oh, right.”

“I don’t wanna shave the sides completely, just what I’m not using with my circlet. I dunno, maybe someday I’ll just let it grow out.”

“I think it’d look nice. Anything would look nice on you.”

Beau turns as much as she can without poking any of her sore spots and grins as she looks over her shoulder. “Aww. Look who’s being sappy now.”

“I’m not.” Yasha leans forward and in a rush of boldness she kisses Beau’s cheek. “I’m just telling the truth.”

Beau’s grin turns into an actual smile. She fully turns around and sits down on Yasha’s lap, straddling her. She cups her face with both of her hands and pulls her into a kiss. Yasha rests her hands on the small of her back and tilts her head a little to get a better angle when she kisses Beau back.

They’re only kissing, but Yasha has been so desperate for this for so long that she can’t hold back a soft moan. It slips between her lips and into Beau’s mouth. Beau pulls back a little and opens her eyes but still keeps her face close to Yasha’s, so close that her breath tickles Yasha. Beau smiles, her lips brushing against Yasha’s, and gently strokes her cheeks with her thumbs. “Mmh… I think this is my new favorite sound.”

Yasha blushes and gulps. “Er… I-I can wash your hair if-if you want to.”

Beau gives her a peck on the mouth and one last grin before she goes back to her initial position between Yasha’s legs. She leans into her and her back rests against her chest. Yasha fumbles with the various soaps, shampoos and lotions displayed. She picks one randomly and reads the tag: earthy hush. She raises her eyebrows. “What the hell is that?" She opens the bottle and sniffs. She has no idea what it’s supposed to smell like, but the perfume is nice.

Beau looks over her shoulder. “What is it?”

“I don’t know if it’s a Zemnian thing or if Caleb was high when he created this. It smells good though.”

She hands it to Beau to smell it.

“Does it work for you?” Yasha asks.

“Yes, I like it.” Beau takes a look at the label. “But yeah, I need to have a word with Caleb, because I definitely didn’t give him any of Molly’s mushrooms.”

Beau gives the small bottle back to Yasha, who pours a bit of shampoo into her hand, puts the bottle down, and then begins to rub Beau's hair gently. She slowly massages her scalp and soon, she hears her sigh deeply. Beau closes her eyes and hums. Her arms are resting on the edges of the tub. She takes them off and starts stroking Yasha’s legs again. Yasha smiles as she feels Beau relax more and more. She leans deeper into her and Yasha’s heart races up a little with pure joy. It feels so nice to have Beau right against her. She’s been yearning for this for quite some time and now, she has it. It’s hard to believe and she needs to pinch herself to make sure she’s not dreaming.

“Yasha?”

She had stopped massaging Beau to actually pinch her own arm, but she resumes. “Sorry. It’s just so strange to be here with you.”

“I know. It feels good though.”

“It does.”

Beau is laying on her more than she’s sitting at this point. “Can you do my shoulders next?”

“Of course.”

Yasha finishes washing Beau's hair and then rinses it. When there is no shampoo left, she pushes it to the side and massages her shoulders. She didn't think it was possible, but Beau relaxes even more. Yasha can only wonder just how long it had been since Beau truly felt at peace. There was an overabundance of tension in her body, tension no doubt piled on for a lot of her life.

A question pops into Yasha’s head. “Beau… how old are you?”

Beau scoffs. “Wanna know which one of us hit on an older, more mature woman?”

“You’re dodging the question. I just think you look too young to be feeling such pain.”

Beau slowly opens her eyes and turns her head. “I’m twenty-four. But aren’t _you_ a little young to have been through all the things you’ve been through?”

“I don’t know, but I’m not sure I can answer your question.”

Beau raises one eyebrow. Yasha keeps massaging her but slows down a little. “I don’t know exactly how much time is missing.”

“If you did, would you know?”

“Are you asking me if my former tribe keeps track of time and celebrates birthdays?”

“I’m asking you if you can estimate your age. But yeah, that too.”

“Celebrating birthdays, not so much. But we did have a calendar and knew our dates of birth. There were rites of passage when we were supposed to become adults and all that.”

“And so?”

Yasha slowly traces the lines of Beau’s tattoo. Her own age doesn’t really matter to her and she hasn’t thought about that in quite some time. “All I know is I was young when…” She clears her throat and tries to keep her voice from shaking. “When Zuala was killed. And I ran away. My days felt like such a blur and along with the time I’ve lost, I just don’t know.”

Beau frowns a little. “I guess I’ve never thought about it before… How long do aasimars live?”

“I have no idea. I don’t even know what I am. I’ve just… thought I was weird.”

“Well… from what I can tell, you are technically human. But you also have angelic blood in your veins.” Beau muses for a bit. “I… I suppose that would make you believe that you’re weird. No ordinary humans can see in the dark like you… or bamf out wings like you… or be dark and fallen one moment and a radiant protector the next.”

“Yeah. That would make me weird.”

Beau frowns. “And yet these unknowns don’t bother you?”

Yasha shrugs in place of an answer.

“It would drive me fucking crazy.”

“That, I’m sure of,” Yasha says with a small smile. “You don’t like not knowing.”

“Sure don’t.” Beau brings up her left hand, the eye staring back at her as she smirks. “Though sometimes it’s better to not know things. Knowing too much is at times a danger.”

“You don’t know that.” Yasha brings their hands together and intertwines their fingers. “Time will tell.” She gently kisses Beau’s shoulder. “Do you want a massage somewhere else?”

“Can we just cuddle for a bit? It feels nice to enjoy a hot bath with you.”

Yasha kisses her shoulder blade and then nuzzles her neck with her nose. While Beau goes back to stroking her legs, Yasha circles her waist and rests her hands on her stomach. “I agree. It’s nice to enjoy a hot bath with you and your abs.”

Beau chuckles and rests her head on Yasha’s shoulder. “Now that you talk about it… I think they’re a bit sore.”

“I’m sure they are.”

“They need extra care. I got thoroughly fucked up today.”

Yasha traces the sharp lines of Beau’s abs, feeling the bruising and scarring even under the water, and feels Beau shivering under her touch. She covers all her abdomen with her large hands and gives her belly rubs. She hears Beau hum right into her ear and smiles. “Were you a cat in another life?”

Beau mumbles something unintelligible.

“What?”

“Lion.”

Yasha chuckles. “Yeah, lion sounds right.”

She keeps rubbing and caressing Beau’s stomach. Every now and then, she pulls Beau’s loose hair aside and places a soft kiss on her cheek and then buries her face in her neck again. Every time, Beau hums, but the humming progressively sounds more and more like actual purring. At some point, Yasha feels Beau’s head slowly falling to the side, until Beau gets startled when it suddenly drops. Yasha chuckles and watches her blink a few times.

“I think it’s time to go to bed.”

“No… Don’t wa’a sleep.” Her voice is closer to a grumble as she stutters, seemingly half-asleep already.

“You’re exhausted, Beau.”

“The eyes. What if…” And just like that, the monk is utterly lucid and languid with fear in her voice. Yasha just holds her close, caressing her hair and whispering a litany of love in Celestial.

Beau doesn’t realize right away that this is not Common, until she thinks that it sounds really beautiful and understands that Yasha is speaking in another language. But even these words don’t seem to be enough to soothe her. “I’m scared, Yash.”

“Last night Caleb and you slept after your dream, and nothing happened.”

“I know, but I can’t help it. Also… what if when Lucien strangled me and caused so much pain just in my head alone… that might make me more susceptible to them? It… It was agony, Yasha. Like my mind was being torn apart from the inside out.” She sighs heavily. “And of course… I now know how it feels… having unwanted voices in your head. Hmph. What a pair we make, huh?”

“Do you hear them right now?”

Beau waits a moment, straining her ears to listen even if it doesn’t matter. “No. But I’m scared that I will if I sleep. Just like last night. You were right. It’s not fun. And it doesn’t feel good.”

“I know, Beau. I know.” She kisses her behind the ear. “But you need to sleep. Maybe if I talk non-stop, not only will you fall asleep from boredom, it will also keep them away if they try to come back.”

“Are you saying you plan on staying here tonight?”

“O-Only if you want me to. Someone needs to keep watch over you, just in case.”

Beau lets out a laugh. “You could have just said that you want to spend the night with me.”

“Well… If I really _have_ to.”

“And folks say that _I’m_ the asshole. But if you’re staying, I have two conditions.”

“Yes?”

“First. Do not sleep on the floor or on a chair. I can’t believe you’ve been doing this when you have your own bed.”

“I’m used to it. I don’t know.”

Beau shakes her head. “Even when you were with Zuala? Damn shame.”

Yasha can’t help but blush a little. “Low blow, Lionett. But point taken.”

Beau smirks but doesn’t break stride. “Second. Hold me in my bed through the night. It’s not quite how I’d imagine our first night in the same bed would go, but… I can’t complain.”

“I guess your first condition is inherent to fulfilling the second one.”

“I expect you to make the first condition a habit from now on.”

“I think I could get used to it if it means shnuggling with you.” She kisses Beau on the cheek. “So? Do we have a deal?”

Beau’s face tenses a little, but she nods. “Just as long as you don’t leave. Again.”

Yasha wraps her arms tighter around Beau and holds her against her. “I won’t. I promise.”

“Now that? That is a promise I know you _can_ keep.”

Yasha smiles and with no warning, she stands up, still holding Beau who yelps. Once the surprise has passed, Beau laughs and wiggles as Yasha steps out of the tub, careful not to slip, and puts her down. She grabs a towel and starts brushing Beau’s hair, the monk still giggling a little. “I feel like a puppy being groomed.”

“You’re just as cute.”

Beau peeks from under the towel and smiles.

A soft knock on the door draws their attention, as does the soft, feminine voice behind it. “Yasha? Is Beau okay?”

“Jester.” Beau quickly grabs another towel and wraps herself in it. “I’ll be right back.” She puts a hand on the back of Yasha’s neck and pulls her closer to give her a kiss.

She turns a little too hastily on the vapor-damp tiles and Yasha grabs her arm just in time before she falls. “Please, for the love of gods, you’ve been hurt enough for today.”

Beau gives her an awkward smile and goes out of the bathroom with more caution after putting on a cobalt-blue nightgown. She walks to the door and opens. “Hey, Jess.”

“Oh! Beau. Is everything okay?” She looks at her from head to toe and even though she doesn’t comment on her state of dress, or even her completely undone hair, her grin tells all about what she might be thinking.

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. I-I was about…” She looks over her shoulder in the direction of the bathroom. “We were about to go to sleep.”

“So Yasha is staying with you?”

“Um… Yeah. She’s going to try to keep me safe.”

Jester’s mischievous grin turns into a kind and genuine smile. “That’s good. I just wanted to be sure you were okay and someone would be watching over you. Well, good night then!”

She is about to turn and leave, but Beau gently grabs her wrist. “Jester, wait.”

The tiefling faces her and looks at her. “Yeah?”

“I… I’m sorry. For telling you to ‘fuck off’. You didn’t deserve that. My emotions got the best of me. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, Beau. I know you didn’t mean it. But thanks for apologizing.”

“Of course.”

Jester steps forward and hugs Beau, who returns the embrace with no hesitation. Jester whispers, “I’m really happy, for both of you.”

Beau is not even surprised that Jester has figured it out and she smiles.

“You two deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks, Jessie.”

The tiefling pulls back and gives her a smile, but she doesn’t leave without a wiggle of her eyebrows and one of her trademarked comments. “Try to get at least a bit of sleep.”

Beau chuckles and shakes her head with an amused look. “Too hurt to do anything other than sleep. Good night, Jester.”

“Good night!”

And with that, Jester darts off. Beau closes the door and walks back to the bathroom. “We’re totally busted.”

Yasha finishes drying herself. “Oh, she already knew. I kinda told her already. And besides, she told me about her and Fjord.”

“She did? Fjord told me about it! Wasn’t it adorable when Jester healed him and he kissed her.”

“It was. They’re really cute,” Yasha confirms. “And I think we’re okay. Besides… I could tell on everyone’s face that they had a feeling. I mean we were only... overtly talking about our date while fighting a fucking dragon.”

“Oh yeah. Speaking of,” Beau can’t help but have a nostalgic look in her eye. “We’ve had history with her. It was while you were gone, I’ll tell you all about it as we sleep.”

“Yeah, I could tell there was something going on.”

Beau quickly picks up the discarded towels and leaves them to the cats to take care of, along with their sullied and bloodstained clothes. She then walks to her provided wardrobe and then stops. “Oh. Right. I’m not sure I have anything that would be fitting you.”

“What are you talking about? I’m sure we can find something.”

Beau turns and finds Yasha looking at her with a deadpan expression. “Is this one of your jokes?”

“It is. But I guess I should work on my delivery.”

“You guess,” Beau mutters as she looks in the wardrobe and, after some digging, she does find an extra-large shirt that would fit Yasha’s frame, at least down to her knees. “Will this do?”

“Too nervous to have me in the nude on our first night?”

“Maybe a little. If only because I just want to sleep. And cuddle. Still trying to do this the right way by bending things a bit.”

Yasha takes the shirt and gives Beau a forehead kiss. “What a gentlewoman,” she muses as she puts it on.

“I don’t know if I am, but I try to.”

“You’re doing great,” Yasha says with a grin.

Beau blushes a little. She takes Yasha’s hand and walks them both to the bed. She hops onto it and taps the mattress. “I want the cuddle you promised. And also...”

“What is it?”

Beau’s eyes are looking at one particular rope hanging off the canopy.

Yasha chuckles. “I thought we were supposed to sleep. _Just_ sleep.”

“We won’t be doing anything. I just… I just think we’re both super hot and it would be a shame not to enjoy the view.” She pauses. “No, I lied. I just want to… see us. Just so it feels… real.”

Yasha reaches for the rope and uncovers the mirror. She then lays down next to Beau and pulls the covers over both of them. They look up in unison and stare at their reflection in the mirror. Beau intentionally has her left hand exposed and holding Yasha’s.

“It’s a little less scary when you’re holding it,” she whispers. “Just a little.”

Yasha brings their joined hands to her mouth and kisses Beau’s knuckles. “Does it feel even less scary like this?”

“Yes. I think it’s a great cure.” She turns to look into Yasha's eyes. “You were right about the mirror. It _is_ useful. Just not in the way we thought.”

“In which way then?”

“A reminder of how circumstances brought us together. Who knows how much longer we would have waited… if neither of us had the courage to speak up.”

“I think Jester would have felt the urge to do something about it before we did.”

“I’d have been upset with her, to be totally honest,” Beau admits. “Having others matchmake or steer you into doing it the right way? It’s rather unfair, and it wouldn’t be my own choice.”

Yasha tilts her head to the side with a pensive expression. “You’re probably right. Sometimes people have the best intentions, but they don’t realize they’re overstepping and it turns out really bad.”

Beau rolls on her side to face Yasha. She cups her cheek and gently strokes it. “You know what else is unfair?”

“What?”

“How beautiful you are.”

Yasha chuckles in amusement, but a slight blush makes its way to her cheeks. “Says who?”

“You’re definitely more beautiful than me.”

Yasha’s nose wrinkles a bit. “You’re not a liar, so stop that.”

“I’m not lying!” Beau lifts herself up on her elbows and peppers kisses all along Yasha’s jaw. “You’re just so beautiful. I’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you before.” She buries her face in Yasha’s neck and her breath makes her giggle. “You really are an angel.”

Yasha wraps her arms around Beau and holds her close. “ _You_ are. You’re all too nice.”

“You should learn to take compliments.”

“Again, says who.”

Beau pulls back and looks Yasha in the eye. “Well, compliment me then.”

Yasha takes a breath and looks back at Beau as she nests in the sheets. “You… You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met, both on the field and in other circumstances. You’re eloquent--”

“Am I now?”

“... when you want to be.” Beau grins. “You’re kind-hearted. And… you’re the second love of my life, and… the one I want to keep safe.”

Beau’s grin fades away and she’s left speechless.

“Too much too soon?”

“N-No! I just… never thought I’d hear it one day.”

“I didn’t think I’d say it right now, to be honest. But I figured… If we must live in the present for fear of what might come, we might as well, you know.”

“Yeah.” Beau’s voice sounds so small, but her eyes are not as dull as before.

Yasha gently grabs the back of her neck and pulls her in a kiss. She whispers against her lips, “I love you, Beauregard.”

“I love you too. I...” Her voice cracks and she struggles to keep her composure. “I don’t want to leave you.” With no warning, her vision gets blurry. She squeezes her eyes closed to try to hide how emotional she is, but all she gets is a tear rolling down her face and a sob smothering her.

“No, don’t cry,” Yasha says in a soft voice. “Don’t cry, love.” She kisses Beau on the forehead and whispers comforting words in Celestial.

But Beau is shaking her head.

“No, Yasha. Just for once in my damn life… I want to cry. So please… let me.”

“Okay.” Yasha just holds her, letting Beau cry as much as she wants, to let all of the pain and anguish out in a way that is healing and comforting.

“I didn’t want to put you through this again,” Beau mumbles, still sobbing.

“You’re worth it. And I don’t want to waste any more time.”

Beau tries to speak, but her sobs prevent any word from crossing her lips or even forming, as her throat is painfully tight. Yasha pulls her into another kiss. She can taste the tears on her lips, but she doesn’t mind. She doesn’t cry often herself, but she is familiar with sadness, so much that it’s become a comforting emotion somehow. Except when it’s Beau who’s feeling it.

Her throat does manage to loosen up a bit as she says in a choked sob, “Thank you.”

“Try to sleep now. I will hold you and I won’t let go, I promise.”

“Okay.”

If there were further dreams of red eyes or millions of whispers in her head as she slept, she couldn’t tell. All that mattered in her world was the angel holding her in her strong arms.

So what if she may be damned? And even if she isn’t marked for death as she had feared, it didn’t matter to her.

Because she wasn’t alone. And she wouldn’t be.

Never again.

**Author's Note:**

> LUCE  
> Fun fact: “earthy hush” is an actual candle scent that I bought some time ago, and while I have absolutely no idea what it refers to, it smells really good.
> 
> ADAM  
> And even if they don’t have the tower or can’t find it next episode, I am truly hoping that just for once, Yasha and Beau decide that they can’t wait any longer. Not after two brutal near-death experiences on the same day.


End file.
